Trump Tried To Fire Mueller Because He’s A Guilty Idiot

by Michael Luciano

New York Times – President Trump ordered the firing last June of Robert S. Mueller III, the special counsel overseeing the Russia investigation, according to four people told of the matter, but ultimately backed down after the White House counsel threatened to resign rather than carry out the directive.

The West Wing confrontation marks the first time Mr. Trump is known to have tried to fire the special counsel. Mr. Mueller learned about the episode in recent months as his investigators interviewed current and former senior White House officials in his inquiry into whether the president obstructed justice.

Poor Donald. His whole adult life he could fire anyone he wanted without consequence and loved having that power so much he had a show where he took great joy in firing people. He even tried to trademark “You’re fired,” as if it were some ingenious Trumpian original, which as far as Donald thinks, it is. Just like “priming the pump.”

But now Trump is finding that firing or attempting to fire people isn’t always well-received. In any case, Trump trying to fire Mueller might be the least surprising news leak in the history of news leakage.

That’s because Trump is an arsonist. Whether the problem is a failing casino or a tanking hotel or the media or James Comey or Robert Mueller, the best answer Trump’s orange coiffed melon-head can conjure to adversity is, burn it down.

So you can imagine how frustrating it was when White Counsel Don McGahn told Trump that he’d rather resign than play John Dean in Trump’s half-assed Saturday Night Massacre cosplay.

When asked to respond to the story, Trump lawyer Ty Cobb didn’t deny the report. Instead he gave what is in context the most mind-bending no comment in recent memory, saying, “We decline to comment out of respect for the Office of the Special Counsel and its process.”

There’s a lot going on there.

First of all, Cobb’s response is a tacit confirmation of the story because the allegation is so explosive and plausible that to not deny it if it’s untrue in inexplicable, not to mention horrible PR. Second, Trump and company don’t do things “out of respect” for anyone. Third, “the Special Counsel and its process” don’t include Trump trying to fire said Special Counsel. Therefore commenting on the attempted firing aspect doesn’t interfere with said process. Fourth, firing the Special Counsel definitely does interfere the Special Counsel and its process, which Cobb tacitly confirmed Trump tried to do, which is definitely not respecting the Special Counsel and its process, but which Cobb is now saying that they are respecting the Special Counsel and its process which, again, Trump tried to burn down.

I’m never typing “Special Counsel” again.

Dammit.

Unlike a lot Trump-loathers I’m not going to pretend to know for a fact that Donald Trump personally colluded with Russians to win the 2016 election. Maybe he did. It certainly wouldn’t surprise me. But what is most clear is that Trump has tried to obstruct the investigations into his campaign, his transition team, and his administration.

Because he’s a guilty idiot.

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